Friday, March 31, 2006

A Bathing Ape

I haven't bought any new shoes for a quite a while and I think my life has been rather bleak and devoid of any meaning or happiness as a direct result. Part of the reason for not making any foot apparel related purchases is because I am a student and as such have no money to speak of. Although, since my graduation from law school is rapidly approaching, I can sometimes in my moments of greatest optimism foresee a day where I will have tens of dollars in my wallet and bank account. It is in those moments that I envision a new pair of shoes adorning my feet. Since I cannot at the present time afford the wonders that the footwear world has to offer, I think I will start a cyber collection, updated periodically as the world's cobblers grasp my vision of the future. I can think of no better place to start, than here:

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Something I can get behind . . .

I think the beauty and artistry of this video speaks for itself. This is the magic of effortless gliding.

Figure Skateboarding

Monday, March 27, 2006

The Bagman's Gambit


On the lam from the law on the steps of the capitol you shot a plainclothes cop on the ten o'clock and I saw momentarily they flashed a photograph, it couldn't be you you'd been abused so horribly but you were there in some anonymous room and I recall that fall I was working for the government and in a bathroom stall off the National Mall how we kissed so sweetly how could I refuse a favor or two for a tryst in the greenery I gave you documents and microfilm, too.
And from my ten floor tenement where once our bodies lay how I long to hear you say no, they'll never catch me now no, they'll never catch me now no, they cannot catch me now we will escape somehow somehow.
It was late one night I was awoken by the telephone I heard a strangled cry on the end of the line purloined in Petrograd they were suspicious of where your loyalties lay so I paid off a bureaucrat to convince your captors there to secret you away.
And at the gate of the embassy our hands met through the bars as your whisper stilled my heart no, they'll never catch me now no, they'll never catch me now no they cannot catch me now we will escape somehow somehow.
And I dreamt one night you were there in force head held high in uniform.
It was ten years on when you resurfaced in a motorcar with the wave of an arm you were there and gone.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Bubble Boy

I think the time is rapidly drawing near that I will have to follow Jimmy's example and step outside the protective confines of my life here in the bubble. I don't know where I'm going--be it Las Vegas or Niagara Falls--or how I'll get there--by motorized scooter, cult bus, chopper, boxcar, ice cream truck, or bi-plane--but the paper chain is ready and the bubble's about to burst.

Monday, March 20, 2006

I LOVE my Dell Laptop



Sure my laptop hasn't really worked right ever since I let the Techies at the law school "fix" a slight glitch, but that doesn't mean I don't still love the Silver Bullet (and even though it's processing speed is now anything but bullet-like).
But if you are still questioning the quality of a Dell PC, don't just take my word for it:

Dell Testimonial

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Completely Discombobulated


I was just checking my email and my eyes were drawn to the banner ad running along the side of my computer screen. I'm sure you've all seen similar ads, proclaiming to have the answer to all of your love problems. Thanks to Amy and Bracken, I am certainly not going to question the efficacy of online dating services, but I'm just not sure what on earth this particular advertisement is trying to sell. Huh? What? No-bra crotch-apple? I guess I've just been looking for love in all the wrong places.
Please share your thoughts with me.

Intercollegiate Meat Judging



One time during my undergraduate education at the BYU I was walking on campus and was approached by a lovely young lady. She asked if I was one of the young men who had just performed a musical number during the devotional. It just so happened that i was. I had a friend at the time who was a member of the football team and as the devotional speaker for that day was none other than our beloved former football coach, LaVell Edwards, my friend was given the opportunity of organizing the musical number. You may or may not find it important and/or interesting to note that my friend was a very large man of polynesian ancestry and that all the other members of our small ensemble were also of the large, polynesian persuasion. During the devotional the University President chose to introduce us current and former players under coach Edwards. Somehow he had gotten the wrong information, since only one person in our group happened to have ever been a BYU Football Cougar. So back to the young lady. She mentioned that we had done a good job and that she enjoyed the performance. Never one to take myself too seriously--ok, I take myself too seriously quite frequently, but I can still laugh at myself--I remarked how it was funny that we had been introduced as football players when we weren't in fact said football players. In response to my jocular statement, she replied, "So you aren't on the football team?" When I smiled and confirmed my status as being non-football oriented, she simply said, "Oh," and walked away.
While this is a rather humorous look at the college social scene, it also marks the closest I have ever come to being used for my body (and/or social standing, but for the sake of this blog entry I'm going to just lump it all together). While some might think of that as a bad thing, it's really the only thing I've ever wanted. Forget about being respected and appreciated for my mind and talents, use me for my body! I AM a piece of meat!

Intercollegiate Meat Judging

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Marcus, I bow down to your greatness once again. . .

On my visit to Grand Targhee I was so jealous of Marcus's sweet-ass goggle tan that I've been plotting and planning ever since on how I could get one of my own. Turns out that Mother Nature is much more cunning than even I am and had plans of her own. The conditions on the mountain today were perfect for accomplishing my goal of the second most radical goggle tan in the history of goggle tans. While mine is pretty darn good, Marcus, you are still the king.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Senor Blanco

Here is just one more reason why Shaun White is my hero. He's an X-Games icon, the winner of an Olympic gold medal, AND he gets the hottest chicks in the world. And the best part about it is that he still gets excited about it all. He's living the dream and he knows it.

Plus, he buys real estate instead of tricked out Ferraris.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

For those who do not keep up to date with college basketball and the whole March Madness phenomenon, there has been a recent tragedy that I would like to inform you of. The Villanova Wildcats have been one of the top teams in the country for the entire season and have been projected by many as a Final Four team. They play a non-traditional line-up of four guards and have been able to compete and beat teams based on their quickness and ability to shoot the ball. In the Big East tournament yesterday they were playing Pitt for a chance to advance to the Conference finals. In early action Allan Ray of Villanova was chasing after a loose ball when he collided with Pitt's Carl Krauser who was also pursuing the ball. In the tussle, Ray was hit in the eye and crumpled to the ground in front of the 'Nova bench.

The trainers were quick to respond to the injury, but not before cameras and fans were able to view the extent of the blow to Ray's eye. The contact was both direct and severe enough that Ray's eye actually popped out of its socket. The injury was so graphic and disturbing that television stations refuse to show footage of the injury as it occurred, but when the trainers responded to the scene of Ray screaming in agony and picked the fallen and injured player off the floor, it looked like this!



Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Still Proud to be a Safety Kid!

"What times we live in! Without frightening children, it is vital to teach them to protect themselves. These catchy songs from Brite Music teach a powerful lesson in personal safety, and one that is not easily forgotten over the years. Sing-along cassette tape comes with quality coloring book illustrating each song, complete with lyrics. Your child will learn his telephone number, what to do if he is lost, not to go to the restroom alone, what parts of his body are private--how to be safe in every situation. Very respectfully presented, and fun for children to listen to. The Safety Kids need to be a part of your child's life!"

And for the older kids who already know what parts of their bodies are private, here's some help for remembering those tricky proper names:
The Proper Words Song

For Old Times' Sake . . .



Tuesday, March 07, 2006

WWJH




















And now a man who needs no introduction. Ladies and Gentlemen . . . Jamie Pierre!


Jesus Loves a Hucker!

The Faith to Huck Mountains

Monday, March 06, 2006

Spacious backyard, plenty of room to play . . .















For those of you in distant lands or chained to desks in offices illuminated only with artificial light, here's a reminder of what the trip home looks like after a day spent on the mountain with a board strapped to your feet. The trick is, it's even more beautiful when you've been hucking for love, shropping the pow-pow, double-ejecting, turning ground-assisted inverted aerials, grinding everything in sight, using cat-tracks the way God intended, parading your mad steez and sick air for the bunnies, or catching crazy vertigo in a complete white-out.
Speaking of which, big storm this week means plenty of freshies and views like this. . .

Friday, March 03, 2006

Table the Label . . . Wear Your Own Name!

In the little world that is my imagination, I am something of a fashion icon. And many of my friends appreciate me much more for my selection of denim than they do for any actual attributes of friendship that I might bring to the relationship. I'm ok with that. I finally found someone who shares my unique styling philosophy and who can express it far better than I can. Thank you, Mr. T.

Fashion Philosophy 101



Thursday, March 02, 2006

Childhood Dreams . . .

No, I'm not talking about magically turning into any animal I choose, having Andy from Goonies as my girlfriend, being chosen as a special undercover agent for the police, parking my hoverbike on top of the school during class, making out with Taryn Aiken, Monica Butler or Cheetara, playing football with Matt Bellini, having a pet kangaroo, or making friends with Optimus Prime. I'm talking about going to a Monster Truck Rally. Sure I'm now 27 years old, but was it everything I imagined it would be? Did it capture my imagination the way the original Bigfoot once did? I think anyone who has ever attended a Monster Truck Rally or has ever used cotton candy to muffle the sound of roaring Monster engines knows the answer.















For the uninitiated, this is Grave Digger and Dragonslayer.
















Dragonslayer and The Patriot.
















And Monster Truck royalty, sitting atop his throne: Grave Digger.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

No Butts About It . . .

These pictures go back to the Lucky Strike New Year's bash. While that event has long since passed, I feel strongly that these pictures need to be seen. The world must know the truth.


This fine piece of ass (I mean that literally, and not in some sort of sexist and demeaning way) belongs to none other than our beloved Caroline. It's enough to turn men everywhere into drooling pirates with that elusive booty.
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I know there is going to be widespread outrage throughout the cyberworld that this picture of Broek's hump is out of focus, butt I think it is for the best, since any more detail might crash the interweb and bring the entire world to its knees.
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Arse me no questions and I'll tell ye no lies. Oh, there's some junk in that trunk, but Becca's still got room to pick up this spare.
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The t-shirt pretty much says it all: Sure I'm a sweet spirit . . . But I'm an even sweeter piece of ass.
I'll take suggestions for other captions in the comments box.