Shorter Hair, Longer Resume

I was busily advocating all of my clients' needs and interests when Vanessa reminded me of this whole blog phenomenon that continues to proliferate throughout the cyberworld. Seriously people, can we just calm the blogging down for a minute and get back to what the www was invented for? I'm talking about porn of course. There are probably tens and tens of people out there whose sick sexual fantasies and fetishes are not being satisfied because people are sitting around spending hour after hour writing nonsense that they assume the rest of the world will find earth-shattering, humorous, and all-important. The world doesn't care about your innermost thoughts. It cares about what you can contribute to the constantly-threatened and ever-endangered annals of web-accessible porn. Let us put down our blogging keyboards and pick up our night-vision-enabled webcams and together we can save the internet. We cannot rest until all 12 of the remaining fetishist/pervert/freaks-the-likes-of-which-you-cannot-even-begin-to-fathom-how- depraved-they-might-be has a home on the internet and can safely explore their individuality and deepest desires.

On a completely unrelated note, I am now a real live lawyer/box-lifter. Not the other way around.